A Mile in the Wrong Shoes
by Invader Phoenix
Summary: A new take on the classic "body-switching" story line. GIR messes up an experimant, and things begin to get even stranger than ever...
1. Chapter 1

**I'm splitting this story into two chapters, just so you know. Review enough and I'll put up chapter two.**

**This fic is my version of the classic "body-switching" idea, but it's a bit different. Please enjoy.**

**I doth not owneth Zim.**

Gir never meant any harm. He was just a little too eager. He didn't know any better. He was a little kid inside, so what came to pass that rainy spring day was not done on purpose.

Zim was downstairs, reading a filthy earth magazine. He hoped to discover the planet's weaknesses by reading the magazine, but he wasn't quite sure if this "Justin Bieber" could help him in any way.

Let's just say that Zim could not tell the difference between _Tiger Beat_ and _Time_.

"Gir! Stop running around!" The Irken shouted as he turned a page. The little robot was racing through the base with a paper airplane. His light teal eyes glowed as they always did when he was happy, and he clearly showed no signs of ceasing in his activity.

"GIR!" Zim shouted again. Gir had nearly collided with a new experiment he had been working on, and he did NOT want to have to deal with broken equipment. That experiment was very important. It was to help him destroy the Dib.

Just then Zim heard a cough. He turned around, antennae twitching, as he found Dib hiding behind a trash can. "GIR!" Zim shouted. "Seize the intruder!"

But Gir kept on running.

He ran right into the experiment.

Dib tried to escape.

Zim screamed.

And the experiment exploded.

Zim was blown backward into a wall. _I'll get my hands on that robot…_ he thought as he lost consciousness.

Later that day, Zim woke up. He looked around his lab. It was a mess. The explosion had damaged almost everything within a five-yard radius. He sighed. This was going to be a long night. He struggled to stand up.

"Computer, begin cleanup processes."

As the machine began its work, Zim scanned the area. Gir was lying on the floor, asleep, and Dib was gone. He must have escaped. Zim muttered under his breath. He'd see the Dib-beast at Skool tomorrow.

It was as he thought this a strange feeling came over him. He suddenly felt he had a new goal to accomplish. Walking over to the computer's main monitor, he commanded, "Computer, pull up all the information about Dib. Something isn't quite right here…"

He spent the rest of the night there, in front of the screen, pouring over the files and jotting down notes.

The next day at school, Zim strode in wearing his usual wig and lenses, but there was a different air about him. Something serious and suspicious, something no one had ever detected from him. As he sat down he eyed Dib's desk. It was empty. The boy was not there yet.

Ms. Bitters stood at the chalkboard, writing. Her print was very small, almost undetectable, and it filled the entire board. "Today, class, you will have to copy everything on the board in order to study for your test on nuclear missiles. I'll be in the teacher's lounge grading your horrible tests." She turned and left the room.

Soon a strange wailing sound was heard, coming from out the classroom window. Then, without any other warning, Dib jumped through the window, shattering the glass. "Hi, everybody!" His mood was strangely cheerful and energetic, and it was creepy.

Zim looked at him and said in a spiteful tone, "Hello, _Dib_."

Dib ran over to Zim's desk and screamed "YOU LIKE BISCUITS? HUH? DO 'YA? I LIKE BISCUITS!"

Zim was confused, but he didn't lose his grasp on what he was thinking. "No, monster-boy, I don't like biscuits." He raised a nonexistent eyebrow. "Why do you ask? Is there something that, well, I don't know, _compels_ you to like biscuits?"

Dib nodded. "Uh-huh. MONKEYS!"

Zim stood. "You can't fool me, Dib! I know the truth!"

The rest of the school day passed with Dib yelling lunatic phrases and Zim talking in riddles in that same suspicious tone. No one knew why things were so different, but no one really cared.

Zim arrived at his base in a bad attitude. Gir was in front of the TV, reading the magazine Zim had been looking at yesterday. His eyes, though still blue, were intently focused as if he were in duty mode.

"UGH! I can't believe that no one has noticed anything odd about Dib," he said with obvious scorn. "It's completely obvious!"

Gir looked up from the magazine. "MASTER!" he shouted. "Be quiet! Can't you see I'm trying to find the humans' weaknesses in this filthy magazine?"

"There are more important things that we need to do, Gir! Dib is a threat! He's more dangerous than he looks!"

Gir looked up. Something was… odd. He knew that Zim didn't normally act this way. And he realized that he, too, felt different. "Master, I'm going down to the base for some… research. Don't mess up anything." Gir went down the elevator as Zim muttered to himself about Dib again.

As Gir stepped into the base, he noticed that it was still a mess from last night. He walked through the clutter to the main computer monitor. "Computer! Show me all the information about experiment 468."

"**Sur- wait, Gir, you're not Zim. Did he tell you to do this?"**

Gir looked around the room nervously. "Er- yes! Master sent me to do this. I AM GIR!"

"**Okay, whatever."** The information appeared on the screen.

Gir looked carefully at the data. He read every last bit, then the information about the explosion last night. His blue eyes widened in panic. He checked a surveillance video from last night. Everything there was about the incident. Anything to disprove what he knew had happened. Then there was no more information to use. There was no denying it. So Gir did the only logical thing.

Gir screamed.

Zim came downstairs to investigate. "What on Irk are you doing, Gir? I've got things to do and you're interrupting."

Gir looked at his master in horror. "Master! That explosion last night, with you, me, the Dib-"

"So? What happened?"

Gir looked at him. "It switched our personalities."

Zim looked at the little robot curiously. "What are you talking about? There's nothing wrong here. Except for Dib…"

"Master, what exactly is so wrong with the FILTHY Dib?"

Zim's eyes widened. "He's a robot!"

Gir was surprised. "Well, I guess he is now. Thanks to your INGENIOUS EVIL he's got my old personality. I have yours and you have the filthy human stink-boy's."

"Wait a sec- so, he's you, you're me, and I'm him?"

"Yes. IT's HORRIBLE AND HIDEOUS!" he looked at the monitor. "There must be some way to reverse it! I can't stand living with the Dib!"

Zim was lost in thought. "I mean that Dib's an actual robot, not just a human with a robot's personality. I've done some research and it's obvious! He's out to destroy all Irkens! I know it! It's in plain sight! Just look at him!"

Gir slapped his head. There had to be some way to get out of this. "Master, you go on with your normal… stuff. I'll stay down here and try to fix this." Zim disappeared into the elevator.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, I uploaded chapter 2 without getting many reviews, so please review this time! **

**Anyways, this is part II of "A Mile in the Wrong Shoes"! Yay and stuff!**

The next day at school, something was horribly wrong.

Dib was not wearing a trench coat.

Zim was.

No one really cared, but crazy Invader Zim fans such as me may see the MADNESS in this event. Dib is hardly ever seen without the coat. Things had officially gone crazy.

Zim gave Dib curious glances from across the room, the normally gray irises in his contacts and odd amber color. Dib had to be a robot. Did anyone notice his wide array of technology or his obsessiveness over trying to expose Zim? And now he was acting like Gir. It couldn't be a coincidence.

Dib, meanwhile, was drawing on his notebook cover. His drawings were of cupcakes and ninjas and angry monkeys, but they looked a lot more like the scribble drawings made by two-year-olds.

Dib's thoughts, for once, were not on the paranormal, but on whether or not he could put a Paramore CD into the dryer and leprechauns would magically turn it into candy shaped like Ben Franklin's head.

Okay, maybe the things that went on in Dib's head at this point should not be revealed. But his own eyes were larger than normal under his glasses, and they were a light teal-blue.

Ms. Bitters was giving a long lecture on the history of the "meat" used at Mac Meaties'. Zim looked around at the children, who were about to throw up in horror. It was gross, yes, but there were more important things to focus on now.

Dib raised his hand.

"Dib? What do you want?" Ms. Bitters said irritably.

"I wants me a COUCH!" he replied, his voice reaching Gir's high pitch.

Zim stood on top of his desk. "He's a ROBOT! Robots love couches!" he shouted, thinking of Gir. He couldn't say any more. He couldn't risk exposing the mission. Not now.

Ms. Bitters turned back to her lecture.

By lunchtime, Dib had eaten a fraction of his desk, while Zim had explained to the class seventy-two reasons why Dib was a mutant robot cyborg. No one listened or paid attention, including Ms. Bitters. The bell rang.

Zim carried his tray to his usual empty table. As he stared at Dib, who was currently putting his sloppy joe into Gaz's ear. He was acting like Gir. The robot had been right: the experiment had altered them. Zim closed his eyes. Maybe Dib wasn't a robot; maybe he was thinking this way because of the switch. He had to find a cure. This was unnatural… perhaps supernatural… perhaps caused by Dib to put him off guard…

"NO!" he screamed out loud. Every head turned his way. "Um… that's normal?" he said, trying to imitate what he had always done. This wasn't right. He needed it to get fixed, and fast. He stopped, suddenly realizing that he was talking to himself.

He grabbed the hallucinating Dib and ran from the cafeteria, stopping only to shout "I'm feeling sick and my head's not big!"

"Gir!" Zim shouted as he raced into the lower base. The robot was typing rapidly, his normally blue eyes glowing a dark magenta.

"GET OUT OF MY- Oh, master, it's you." Gir said, his confidence never wavering. "I've been working and I've found an AMAZINGLY EVIL new way to RULE THE EARTH! MUA HA HA HA HA HA!" Gir began to laugh maniacally.

"Yeah, yeah, Gir, that;s great." Zim said, not paying any attention. "Did you find a way to reverse the effect of the experiment? We need to hurry, before Dib destroys the Irken empire!"

Gir looked irritable. "No, I couldn't find anything."

"What, your advanced SIR mind can't find a single thing?"

"LIIIIES!" the robot returned.

"I LIKE TACOS!" Dib shouted.

"FIX THIS NOW, SIR SCUM!" Zim yelled.

"FILTHY HUMAN-BRAINED IRKEN!"

"MONKEYS!"

"BE QUIET!"

It was three hours after their fight had begun. All three heads turned to see who had given this last command. Gaz stood in the middle of the lab, irritated.

"Gaz?" Zim said, surprised. "How'd you get-"

"Shut up and listen," the little girl said. "I know how to fix your stupid little problem. Just do whatever I say."

All three of them nodded.

"Okay. Dib. Get over here."

"YAY!" the boy ran over to Gaz, who handed him a rubber piggy. He silenced as he began to play with it.

"Now Zim."

This time she handed him a paranormal magazine. The Irken sat down and poured over the pages. "Amazing…" he muttered.

Lastly she called Gir and gave him a broken laser to fix. Soon all three of them were busy, each of them occupied with what she had given them. And when they weren't looking, she knocked each of them unconscious with a stuffed moose.

Half an hour later, Zim awakened. "What on Irk happened?" he said uneasily as he sat up. His wig and one of his contacts were on the floor. He looked around. The filthy Dib-sister was sitting at the main computer monitor playing an Irken game. Gir was playing with a rubber piggy and singing "Tik Tok". His eyes were blue again. Dib was just waking up, rubbing his hideously large head, and his eyes, too, were their normal amber color.

"Ow…" said Dib as he slowly sat upright. He looked at Zim. "Why are you wearing my coat?"

Zim looked down. "This is not your filthy human 'coat'. It's made of a Plookeisian substance and WHY ON IRK AM I WEARING THIS?"

Gaz turned around. "Okay, everyone's up. Now let's go home." She grabbed Dib's arm and dragged him onto the elevator and out of the base.

Zim looked at Gir. "What happened?" he asked the small robot. He could remember a vague outline of the last two days, but nothing more.

"I dunno." Gir replied. Zim shrugged and went to plot his evil. Some things were just mysteries.


End file.
